tired of waiting.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

"God's delays are never God's denials."

Please prove this right.

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random thoughts @ 10:19 PM


Saturday, April 21, 2007

it's been a year since i last played ultimate! and omg, inggit ako kila kervin! sana yun nalang din kinuha kong pe. not that i'm not enjoying duckpin bowling (hey, nakastrike na ko! haha.) pero kung nag-ultimate ako eh di sana may exercise pa ko at papayat ako kaso lang baka umitim ako (noooooo). oh well. maybe i'll just epal again with them next week kung pwede. haha, pasaway nga eh, nakapants ako and slippers kanina while playing. tsk tsk!

yun lang, i just miss my friends so badly. it was nice seeing you guys kanina. sobrang busy kasi! summer classes, ictus, myself (what?) hehe. pero take note! ang sipag ko na mag-aral!!! feeling namin ni aleth ang talino namin (Magaling magaling magaling!). hehe. tapos natanggap pa ko sa work soooo therefore more busy days are to come. boohoo. pero at least may kita...

so much for kwento. i woke up to this song the other morning and it just pierced my heart.

torn natalie imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldnt be that man I adored
You dont seem to know, dont seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's whats going on, nothings fine Im torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
Thats what's going on, nothing's right, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
Youre a little late, I'm already torn


oh, and check this one out too:

til i hear it from you gin blossoms

I didn't ask
They shouldn't have told me
At first I'd laugh, but now
It's sinking in fast
Whatever they've sold me

Well baby I don't want to take advice from fools
I'll just figure everything is cool
Until I hear it from you

It gets hard
The memory's faded
Who gets what they say
It's likely they're just jealous and jaded

Well maybe I don't want to take advice from fools
I'll just figure everything is cool
Until I hear it from you
Until I hear it from you

I can't let it get me off
Or break up my train of thought
As far as I know, nothing's wrong
Until I hear it from you

Still thinking about not living without it
Outside looking in
Til we're talking about it, not stepping around it

Maybe I don't want to take advice from fools
I'll just figure everything is cool
Until I hear it from you...

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random thoughts @ 12:52 AM


Friday, April 20, 2007

It’s funny how you can get so many things in your mind and how you want to write about those things but you just can’t seem to pour it out.

As I flipped open a box of Marlboro Menthols, I came to realize a lot of things. Aside from the fact that with every stick you consume you lose an hour of your life, I realized that with that one stick, I could get so many answers to so many questions boggling my mind. Perhaps it’s the nicotine that seeps into your lungs and leaves it black for the rest of your life; or the smoke that gets stuck in your mouth and kills your friend accompanying you; or maybe it was just the night sky that seemed to be so clear tonight.

For some reason, instead of being so clouded with the cigarette smoke, my mind was oozing with clarity and dozens of epiphanies.

It’s funny how life can teach you so many things – that through the various experiences you have in life, through the millions of obstacles you encounter, you become “strong”. Apparently, you’re “strong” and “learned” and “mature” when you can take in so much pain and not break down – but doesn’t that simply make you numb? There comes a certain point in your life when you seem to have experienced all the pain in the world that the next time you’re supposed to get hurt, you don’t – because you’ve already been through that. You’ve already experienced that. You’re already used to that pain. You’re already numb. Just like when you put your finger in a flame. At first, it hurts like hell – you feel all the piercing heat and burning pricks… but then after a while, when you get used to it, the pain is gone. Even though your finger is still in the flame, you can’t feel it anymore. You’re numb.

Apathy is the absence of love and hate. It’s the best and worst feeling in the world. Best, because you can’t feel any pain anymore. Worst, because you can’t feel a thing. Burnout, I guess.

Just like the cigarette you’re holding right now. It’s burning out. Everything burns out – love burns out and you can’t do anything about it. Whether you smoke that stick or not, it’s going to burn out eventually. It’s going to die. But it’s not going to go away. You can always throw that stick away but it’s still going to continue existing. You might throw it in the ashtray or the trash can or on the street, but it’s still there. Even its essence will stay inside you forever. Slowly killing you. Infecting every single blood vessel in your body until you’re consumed. Consumed by the nicotine. Consumed by the feeling.

A friend asked me, “Where does love go when it’s all gone?”

It never is. It just dies.

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random thoughts @ 11:45 PM


Sunday, April 15, 2007

pasukan na ulit bukas, mga kaibigan.

kita-kits sa UP.

kamusta naman ang summer ko?

Psych 101 11am-1pm
PE 1-2:30pm
Math 55 3-5pm

Ang sipag ko naman. Nakakagulat. Hehehe. Sana uno lahat pagkatapos ng summer (ASA).

Heehee. Miss ko na CS friends ko (oo! college scholars! ...haha yeah right. Si Patrick lang ata US sa'tin.. :)) ). Magkita naman tayo soon! Summer na! Ergo, Drews na! haha. Koneksyon? Naghahanap lang ng excuse. :) Basta kita lang tayo, kahit saan! Sa tambayan, sa UP, sa katips, wherever! Magkita-kita lang tayo ulit. :)

On a heavier note... Penge namang raket. Kelangan ko ng pera. Seryoso. I'm so poor. Hahaha.

Anyway, yun lang. Miss ko na mga tao. See you guys soon. :)

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random thoughts @ 9:30 PM

ang kati!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

panalo 'to:

wowie: hindi pa kayo nagttoothbrush? :))

haha, funniest line of the day. thanks wowie, you made me laugh a lot today. =))

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random thoughts @ 10:33 PM

i'm back!

...from the retreat and from the effing enrolment.

nope, i'm not yet done enrolling ALTHOUGH there is a rather amusing story behind that.

see, i was supposed to go to UP last Thursday to enroll. But nooooooooo, mara and I decided to just enlist outside of UP since it was possible to do so. We just got back from the retreat so we were all kind of tired and hungry (hey, our last meal was 7am pa!) so there. well, I ended up getting one subject that I didn't need at all. A 7-9am Pan Pil 17 class. Ha ha. I just thought that maybe it would be better to have the full 6 units instead of just having 3 units. At least it would be easier to change subjects, right? So my mind was set on just doing prerog on Monday when I get to class, since I figured that getting a Math class (which I really really needed) was already quite impossible. So I just went out and watched "The Reaping" (which really sucked by the way) that night and decided to go home on Friday (yesterday).

Friday. I was lying in bed all day, just asking my friends to enlist my Math class for me. Since all of them were having no luck in getting our subject, I thought that going to UP pa would be just a big waste of time and effort. But NOOOO, I was wrong. My friend was able to get a Math class. So I decided to go there at around 4pm already (enrolment is up to 5pm lang!) to at least accomplish the other parts of the enrolment. I may not get my math subject but at least I could finish enrolling na, right? So I went to MH215 and TRIED enlisting my Math 55 class... I was there for like 10 minutes, refreshing the page constantly to no avail -- all sections were closed already... Well, at least until RJ came. Ha ha. He taught me the magic of auto refresh and the page was auto refreshing every 5 seconds (believe me, I never thought auto refreshing could become this handy and useful)... We even tried this "technique" to auto enlist in the subject -- and then the moment i've been waiting for came... One of the red-colored phrases became blue!!! Yes folks, a class suddenly had a free slot. And because of all the shock and excitement we had in seeing that blue spark of hope, it took us a delay time of like 5 seconds before I was able to click the "Enlist" button. But luckily, despite the 5-second delay, I still got the class (Oh, thank God). Then we went running around Eng'g to fix my enrolment -- as in literally running around. We only had around 30minutes left to finish up on getting my form 5 and all the advising and stuff so we were really like in some sort of "enrolment marathon". Ha ha. And then I emerged victorious. Haggard, yes, but successful nonetheless. I only have to pay for my tuition on Monday morning. Yehey. So happy. I couldn't believe how lucky I was yesterday, even though it was a Friday the 13th. :D

So there. With that enrolment story done, let's move on to the retreat! Yey! It was really fun actually. Not that kind of "cry-cry" retreat but more of the fun but VERY spiritual and "whapakk" retreat. I tell you, I had so much of those "whapakk" moments I emerged a changed person (yeah right) haha. But seriously though, I was able to think about SO many things and I was able to realize a lot of things too. As in. And it was nice. :)

Here are a few quotes to leave you thinking:

"Give them everything, so there is no reason to fail." - St. Ignatius

"You can trust people but you don't (have to) believe in the warranty." - Simon, "With Honors"

And from Father Jboy...

"If you don't know the facts of that person, you are just loving the IDEA of that person."

"Character is who you are when no one's looking."

"Kaya hindi exciting ang relationships kasi pinapangunahan!" <-- I love this quote. :)

Ha ha. Great :)

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random thoughts @ 12:48 PM


Monday, April 09, 2007

"Intimacy is the capacity to commit oneself to concrete affiliations, to develop the strength to abide by such commitments, even though they may call for significant sacrifices."

- Erik Erikson

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random thoughts @ 11:22 AM


Wednesday, April 04, 2007

jules: i hope things go well for you basta sana lagi ka masaya :D
jules: you deserve that :D

Trevor Monsod: basta you're sure
Trevor Monsod: kasi yun din una kong inisip :)
joelle: yeah, naisip ko na yun, don't worry :D
Trevor Monsod: just looking out for my sister :D
joelle: thanks :D

ron: so maraming guys na nagsasabi na liar ka? :))
ron: 'cause you're a player. :))
joelle: hahahah di ko liar! :p
ron: dishonest. :)

HAHAHAHA. i love my friends :D

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random thoughts @ 1:07 AM

summer na!!!

Monday, April 02, 2007

bakasyon na. time for movie dates, beach outings, and super siestas.

if only i could have all that. ilang linggo lang ang bakasyon eh. (crappy summer classes)

but then again, i just realized how much i LOVE qc (katips specifically) last week. i went home here in alabang last wednesday (yey tut field trip may free donut at slush ako sa gonuts! haha), for those three days i spent here (i went back to up for the induction nung saturday), GRABEEEEEE, as in parang feeling ko disconnected na ko sa mundo. na-aggravate siguro nung i had to turn down two invites to drink and be merry within those three days. ha ha. pero still! wala lang. and i'm so conyo i hate it.

ANYWAY, it's holy week, and i've decided to lessen my texting (well, at least for this week) for two -- no, three reasons: one, because my cellphone bill last month went up to about 2,000 pesos; two, because it's holy week (para may penance kunwari); and three, because i want to keep myself from texting someone. hee hee style :D

oh, and weirdly, i'm so giddy i hate it. but hate is such a strong word (ha ha), and i should actually be thankful that i'm not depressed right now. 'di ba? mas mabuti nang masaya (for no reason?) kesa depressed and sad and down for some reasons :) in other words, i'd rather be insanely happy than normally sad. did i make sense there? no. i didn't think so too. haha.

oh, and this is a nice song. someone told me that i should look for it and download it, saying that it was a really good song -- and i guess i'd have to agree with him. :)

you don't know me -- bette midler

You give your hand to me
and then you say, "Hello."
And I can hardly speak,
my heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell
you think you know me well.
Hell, you don't know me.
You don't know me.

You don't know the one
who dreams of you at night;
longs to kiss your lips
and longs to hold you tight.
To you I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
You don't know me.

You, you just don't know me,
'cause I never knew the art of making love,
though my heart, oh my heart, oh my heart
is aching just for you.
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
The chance that you might learn to love me too.

You give your hand to me,
and then you say, you say, "Goodbye."
I watch you walk away,
wishing you were mine.
You'll never ever know the girl who loves you so.
You don't know me. No, no, baby.

You don't know me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, baby, baby.
You don't know me, know me, know me.
Please know me.
Late in the midnight hour
I dream of you only.
But I am lonely.
Please know me.
Be my baby. C'mon, be my baby.
Late in the midnight hour
I live for you, baby.
Why don't you know me?
Be my baby.
Why you mean to me?
Mean to me . . .

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random thoughts @ 9:50 PM


Joelle. 19. Sober.


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