hindi ko ma-take ang ka-emohan ng last post ko kaya kelangan ko magpost ulit ngayon. ayoko naman siya burahin kasi may nagcomment (aww, sweetie!) ayun.
may pasok na ulit bukas.
aileen: "bakit pag si ninoy, walang pasok, pero pag lahat lahat na ng heroes may pasok?"
okay, so maybe i was listening to too much rock music (e.g. seven years by saosin -- "not emo, SCREAMO" - vidadi) and was too tired from the field trip that i couldn't think of anything better to put in the following drawing - that aaron and i made - than made up animals and blank, black faced fairies -- if you do consider them "fairies".
okay. so i'm sick and i don't draw well. i should get some sleep, i HAVE to study for hell week.
btw, i would love to sit in a silya pamintana/mariposa. hangover sa kas1 field trip. exhausted.
salamat moreen, para dito sa kantang pinakilala mo :)...
I never knew I never knew that everything was falling through That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue To turn and run when all I needed was the truth But that's how it's got to be It's coming down to nothing more than apathy I'd rather run the other way than stay and see The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind
Let's rearrange I wish you were a stranger I could disengage Just say that we agree and then never change Soften a bit until we all just get along But that's disregard Find another friend and you discard As you lose the argument in a cable car Hanging above as the canyon comes between
Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind
And suddenly I become a part of your past I'm becoming the part that don't last I'm losing you and its effortless Without a sound we lose sight of the ground In the throw around Never thought that you wanted to bring it down I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves
And everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind
Everyone knows She's on your mind Everyone knows I'm in over my head I'm in over my head I'm in over...
Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind
how emo.
manonood kami ng click (or super ex-girlfriend) bukas. yay. yun lang. baduy.
patawanin niyo ko! now na!
//edit: nakuha ko to from kathern at wow grabe my gulaygoodness. natawa nalang ako. ang haba ng post ko.
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Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi.
She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."
They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex.
They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."
She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?
Sila kaya?
"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me.
Parang kami, pero hindi."
They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too.
There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!
She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.
They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."
The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo- boyfriends.
Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.
Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari.Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.
Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.
This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.
It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.
Testing lang.
Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."
This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."
Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.
So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?
Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang.
Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom."
Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.
For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.
Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.
My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."
Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.
But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.
Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?
Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.
Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?
Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan.
Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me" hindi "us."
Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo- relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.
Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.
Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.
But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.
When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy,a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka.
Magpakasaya ka.
Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."
Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo.
Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya ...
almost, but not quite.
Kaya maghanda ka ng masaktan kapag pumasok ka sa ganitong relasyon
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tama. let's go! dapat ganito:
mahal mo ba si joelle? a. oo. b. yup! c. yes. d. all of the above.
haha feeler. joke lang. excited na ko bukas! wee! click click click!!! :)
gusto kong magblog. ang dami kong gustong sabihin at ikwento, pero ngayong nandito na ko sa internet shop at magbblog, wala na. wala na. wala na lahat ng sasabihin ko. ang corny.
the most painful thing we realized i could say at some point in time:
"he will always be the boy i knew and never THE man for me..."
okay, emo crap. but that's that, wala talaga eh. hindi pwedeng pilitin kung wala talaga, 'di ba?
on a lighter note, (as if naman lighter to) natapos ko na lahat ng ME ko for today, which is quite a relief para wala na kong ibang aasikasuhin. prob set nalang - due on friday + recit quiz sa physics. wow. at midterms pa next wednesday, 12-2 2LE sa physics, 3-5 math 54 midterms. tapos sa sabado, august 26, 3LE sa math 54 + 2LE sa cs21. woohoo! ang saya diba? hindi naman kaya malusaw na ang brain cells ko nyan? ngayon pa nga lang lusaw na eh, pano pa kaya next week...
nakakainis pa kanina, kala namin bukas na yung teriyaki boy sa katipunan, yun pala, dry run lang - bading. for invited guests lang. baduy. na-excite pa naman ako.. nagmcdo nalang tuloy kami (as usual) at nagsenti ng konti, wishing that some guy would sing some song to us at some time (haha as usual).
gusto kong umuwi sa wednesday. fiesta kasi sa alabang. food yan. pagkain. let's go. sino sasama sakin umuwi?
sana napasaya ko kayo katulad ng kasiyahang nadala sakin niyang video clip na yan. *bow* lamon na!
//edit: BIRTHDAY NI MAYEE BUKAS!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BFFL!!! I HEART YOOOOO!! *makes a heart in the air with fingers* (omg cheesy)
(imagine, last year pa yan. ang ganda pa rin natin. BWAHAHAHAHA conceited.)
i'm again in an internet shop, passing time. waiting for my one hour to come.
i ate dinner at mcdo with mara and her blockmates, while they were studying for their bio exam -- and dude, i tell you, it is very weird to spend time with a group of people who happen to have too much in common (in this case, bio. God, they were talking about meristems and phloems and stuff like that. i found out that there exists two kinds of chlorophyll, a and b. akalain mo nga naman) same goes of course if you spend time with us cs students especially after a cs class -- spare yourself and stay away from the registers. (shet, nerdy nerdy!)
last night was extreme. moreen, gia, and i, did not sleep - in fact, we didn't go home till about 6am. where did we go? places. it was fun, and liberating, and very intellectual (YES, we learned alot). it kinda sucks because i left what i wrote last night at home. it was a bit more detailed and meaningful, perhaps i'll post it soon.
so there. that's all. why is it hard to breathe? i don't know. maybe because AWIEUsdkfjaleiru01293813-498-5itgjv j[aera['f' =0-943-=`.
i don't know. that's life. i should just sleep, shouldn't i?
Brooding about sensuous objects makes attachment to them grow; from attachment desire arises, from desire anger is born. From anger comes confusion; from confusion memory lapses; from broken memory understanding is lost; from loss of understanding, he is ruined.
-Bhagavad Gita, 2nd Teaching, stanzas 62 & 63
eto na ang bago kong motto in life ngayon. YES. naku, baka magpaconvert na ko to Hinduism. JOKE lang. :p
at eto pa. so painful, kaya dapat maging detached.
a perfect circle.three libras
threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back, a name in your recollection, thrown down among a million same.
difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and passed over when i've looked right through to see you naked and oblivious and you don't see me.
but i threw you the obvious just to see if there's more behind the eyes of a fallen angel, the eyes of a tragedy.
here i am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded. but i see through it all and see you.
so i threw you the obvious to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy.
oh well. apparently nothing. you don't see me. you don't see me at all.
... at ayun, sadly (or rather, surprisingly) manonood kami ng sukob nila gia at moreen. oo, napilit akong manood. oh well. eto na. exciting! LFS ito. tapos babasahin ko yung Cubao Midnight Express, yun na! ito ang aking reward sa aking sarili sa pagiging detached lalo na kanina noong natapos ko ang math exam nang kulang sa pag-aaral. maaabot ko na si Brahman. Malapit na, malapit na...
my mom and i watched miami vice a while ago and i must say, my head hurt from all those "action"... but STILL, colin farrell was oh so hot.
tanda ko dati, nung una kong nakita yung poster ng miami vice, kala ko, si colin farrell lang yung nasa poster, kala ko isa lamang shadow si jamie foxx. at siguro nga isa lang siyang shadow. ...joke.
sabi ng kapatid ko, manood nalang daw kami ng sukob, pero ayoko. sabi ko gusto kong panoorin ang miami vice. buti nalang, gusto ding panoorin ng nanay ko. sabi ng kapatid ko, corny yun, walang storya, at least, sa sukob, matatakot ka pa.
ayokong matakot. tsaka hindi ko matetake si kris aquino. YAK pare. baka biglang may mga lumabas na banker dun.. okaya si manny pacquiao na magpapainom pala.
baduy yung movie. walang storya. but i said i'll watch the movie only for colin's "hotness", and i did, and i was satisfied.
The I V And Your hospital bed This was no accident This was a therapeutic chain of events
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital And it's not so pleasant. And it's not so conventional It sure as hell ain't normal, but we deal, we deal. The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where the apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in. No it's not so pleasant. And it's not so conventional It sure as hell ain't normal, But we deal, we deal.
Just sit back, just sit back, just sit back and relax. Just sit back, just sit back, just sit back and relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid sit back relax sit back relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid just sit back just sit back
You're a regular decorated emergency. You're a regular decorated emergency.
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital And it's not so pleasant. And it's not so conventional It sure as hell ain't normal, but we deal, we deal. The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where the apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in. No it's not so pleasant. And it's not so conventional It sure as hell ain't normal, But we deal, we deal.
Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid just sit back, relax Sit back, relapse again Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid just sit back, just sit back sit back, sit back relax! relapse! sit back, sit back Ba ba ba da
You can take the kid out of the fight
You're a regular decorated emergency the bruises and contusions will remind me what you did when you wake. you've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame. The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney again. You're a regular decorated emergency the bruises and contusions will remind me what you did when you wake. you've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame. The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney again.
Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid just sit back, relax Sit back, ***relapse*** again Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid just sit back, just sit back sit back, sit back relax! relapse! sit back, sit back Ba ba ba da
You can take the kid out of the fight
The I V And Your hospital bed This was no accident This was a therapeutic chain of events
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isang bagay lang ang dapat tandaan: never assume.
totoo yun. and i'm not that comfortable with what i'm feeling right now. i'm confused and i, according to lloyd, am not used to things like this and i really tend to act this way whenever stuff like that happens. boo. duwag talaga.
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ang saya ng CLA kanina. ang saya mag-apostolates. i love spending time with the kids.
oh, and this is one of the sweetest things i've ever read, i found it on my tita's copy of "The Little Prince" -- it appears to have been given to her by some guy before:
"to that girl whose laughter is like millions of twinkling stars!"
aww. how sweet.
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gusto ko manood ng miami vice at the break up. at gusto ko rin ng holy kettle ngayon na.
